Day 18: Breathe it out

Today was Day 18 of #mybuffetyear. How are the relationships in your life?  Are they all hunky dorey and kumbaya?  I don’t usually use those words.  I’m guessing if you are like me there are some relationships in your life that could use a little love and care. So today I am going to be writing a letter.

If you would have asked me a year ago or even last month.  Not a chance!  I don’t know why I felt so much resistance.  I think for me being the typical man it is hard to vulnerable.  Lewis Hoews doesn’t have a book called Masks of Masculinity for nothing!  What I learned about myself is I have a fear of rejection.  I think to a certain part we all do.  If you care what anybody thinks of you unless you are a true zero fucks given type person you are afraid to fully express yourself, which means you aren’t truly living.  

I think toxic masculinity says we have to appear to have our shit together at all times and we have to act like know everything or we appear weak.  I mean before GPS and waze why did some men not stop and ask for directions?  They would rather waste their most precious resource that which is time then to pull over and be vulnerable.  I guess I decided to pull over and ask the universe for directions when I pulled over and wrote the letter.  They say vulnerability is a gift.  It’s a gift that isn’t fun to open at the moment but the byproduct is getting over the fear of rejection and the negative feelings associated with what you are writing about.  I haven’t even delivered the letter and I feel so much better.